How to test your marriage….

kitchen remodel

It has been weeks since I have been able to write a blog post. For a while I had the time and the momentum to write from the heart but then our house remodeling got a little chaotic and I had no time to sit in front of a computer.

Let me tell you one thing, if you ever want to test your relationship or your sanity take on a renovation project. I have no idea how Christina and Tarek (#fliporflop) or Chip and Joanna (#fixerupper) manage to stay married throughout the endless hours or remodeling, renovating and decision making.

We bought our house in paradise back in October. We managed to get an amazing deal because the four bedroom house we purchased had been left in the 70’s. We had to renovate every single room of the house, every bathroom and the kitchen. We were very excited to take on this project, it was the first proper house we had bought as a couple. It had so much potential so when we sat down to make the plans for the renovation sky was the limit.

bathroom remodel

Our first problem popped up when we tried to get planning permission from the City of Coronado. Something that was meant to take three weeks turned into an 8 week fiasco. The City kept returning our plans making one correction at a time which extended things and took so much longer than we expected.

We finally managed to get the plans approved by mid-December but then the problem was Christmas and New Years. We managed to get most of the demo done but progress was very slow. Finally, in January we managed to get the ball rolling. Walls had been torn down and wall paper was scrapped off.

When problems arise the easiest person to take it out on is your spouse. When the wrong window gets delivered, the wrong paint gets used and the work isn’t progressing enough your spouse is the one person you can blow off steam with. This is a tricky situation though, as the weeks go on the hostility can do some lasting damage. I realized after a few months the importance of quality time and clear open communication.

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The other person is always going to feel like they are doing more, they are spending more time on issues or they are more involved than the other person. Eventually, I realized this is what was causing the tension in our marriage. Of course my husband felt that I should be doing more because I was at home all day. What he failed to acknowledge (it happens often) is that when I am at home I am looking after two kids, and as any mother knows looking after two kids is not an easy task. Especially when you have to go to a building site and manage people, paint, go to Home Depot. There is only so many hours you can keep a toddler in a car seat or a seven year old in an empty house. There were times when I wanted to throw myself on the floor of Home Depot and cry from exhaustion and frustration because I didn’t know what crown molding was or how I was going to chose it for our house.

I finally asked for help. My friend Cristina looked after baby Charlie a few days while I went to the new house and painted the doors, the crown molding, the framing, etc. It really does take a village!!

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In the end it all worked out. We are finally living in our brand new beautiful dream home on our island, Coronado. This house has my sweat and tears and my husbands. Even though at times it felt like it was pulling us apart in the end it brought us together and it will bring us a lifetime of memories with our family. I now sit in my beautiful living room looking out my french doors on to my patio deck watching my son play in his yard. Life really can’t get any better than this!!

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